Strange Lights on Saturday

This is a bit unusual for me, but something unusual happened, and I felt the need to write about it.

It happened on Saturday.

My mom was driving, and my dad sitting in the back seat, I was sitting in the front passengers seat, and we were going north on the 57 freeway, and the traffic started to slow down significantly, and people around us were looking at the sky. I looked ahead, and then a big light (close to the apparent size of the moon) appeared high up in the sky. It looked as though it had a trail of sparks behind it, and it was very slow in its descent.

Then, it went out, but another one appeared, just like the first. It seemed to veer off to the right, in a twirling motion. It went out again, and there was a pause, for about 3-5 seconds during which I couldn't see any. Then two more appeared, and a third, and they continued to do the same things. One went out, and another two appeared. At this time there were about four or five in the sky at once, all doing the exact same things, except at progressively lower heights. As they got lower, the impression that they were trailing sparks became much more distinct.

Towards the end of (what I saw of) the event, there was one which seemed to be very close to the ground - not so close as I would think it a few feet from the ground, but close enough that I grew the genuine concern that it might hit our car, or hit the freeway close enough to cause a crash that would cause damage to us as a result.

However, this, too, disappeared from sight, as though it had burnt out and lost its light.

At first, I thought it was pieces of a satellite, as the trails of sparks that gave them their fiery looks seemed to suggest, and it's far too slow to be a meteor, at least any meteor I've seen. I would think that such a case would involve the objects falling faster, though, so I do have some questions surrounding this idea.

I felt pretty neutral beforehand, pretty good, actually, as I was listening to Relayer, and was pretty shaken up during it, mostly relieved afterward that it hadn't caused us harm, whatever it was. I still don't know, don't think this is an extraterrestrial-controlled thing, but it is certainly very unusual (first thing I've seen like it, compared to any UFOs, stars, planets, meteors, planes, or satellites that I have seen), and I wouldn't rule this possibility out, particularly as I lack a better explanation as of this point. (Edit: It did turn out to be some people in balloons or parachutes, who were performing nearby.)

I am just furiously anxious to understand what happened. Apparently a whole bunch of people in the parking lot of the restaurant The Hat were all looking up and staring at it. I have seen nothing of it in the news, on YouTube, in image searches, news searches or general web searches, with the singular exception of a couple of people who reported it as UFO reports. I don't think it's extraterrestrial craft, though, and would be really eager to hear what it likely is.

The Penny Looks Sad

I don't know how common this is among autistics, but for many inanimate objects, I feel very emotionally connected to. Not as emotionally connected as with other people, but I seem to be able to express it much more clearly for non-human things and objects.

Today I apologized to a window decoration because I tore it. It was out of curiosity, as to how it would look and feel if I tore it, and it was a conscious decision I made to tear it. It made me feel sad, though.

I feel more sadness for people, when other people are hurt (either by me, other people, or other things, such as natural disasters). However, I don't show it in the ways other people seem to do, or expect me to do.

I'm not sure exactly in what ways my external appearance indicates to others that I am not emotionally connected, but I do know that these assessments are usually wrong (the exceptions being when I defended myself against someone attacking me, or if I do not feel sorry for someone who has done something awful and I feel they deserve it.

However, simply not liking someone is rarely grounds for me to feel that they "deserve what they get". I will still feel sorry for that chatty, materialistic girl who entered my class in sixth grade and made fun of me even though I told the boys, who criticized that she wore too much makeup, to give her a chance, when her next boyfriend treats her badly.

Unfortunately, because we express things differently, we are rarely listened to when we say that yes, indeed, we do care.

After only a few short years from when I was diagnosed at age 10, though, I had heard enough of the misconceptions about autism that by age 15 I was parroting back that I was practically emotionless, like a robot. I insisted that I had no empathy, that I was a strictly logical being, and that I had excellent rote memory.

None of these were true.

So I would caution anyone against taking the assumptions found in the medical literature as a factual representation of how all (or most) autistics are. This goes for any autistic person reading just as much as any non-autistic person.